Updated: Nov 24, 2021
To Shower Or Not To Shower?
When I had my first baby I didn’t really want a Baby Shower. I was very self-conscious about being the centre of attention and didn’t want to be seen as being materialistic or asking for stuff.
Boy, did I miss out! My opinion has certainly changed.
What I think now, is that it's a beautiful way for family and friends to welcome your baby and support you. It can be a beautiful rite of passage when becoming a mother, or a mother again, a parent, adoptive parent or new family.
Your family and friends will want to celebrate this new stage of your life with you and will want to welcome this new person into the world even before they’ve arrived. There truly is something awesome and magical about new life and the beauty of this should be celebrated! It is also a tangible way for the mum-in-waiting to see that there are people in their life ready to support them through the unknown challenges of parenthood with this particular child.
Everyone is different and has a different budget but you don’t have to spend big to have a fabulous event.
Decorations can feel festive so pick the friend who loves doing this to get involved or ask someone like Briana from White Orchid Events for some help. Whatever you decide, try not to have the shower at the Mum’s home. Cleaning up after a party is not what a pregnant person needs. They need to be chauffeured back to the comfort of their own home for some quiet time to reflect on the occasion, with their feet up!
There may be people present from all different areas of the Mumma’s life, even some from her partner's family she doesn't know so well but who will want to join the celebration. Playing some icebreakers around the group can be lots of fun. One game is ‘2 Facts, 1 Lie’. Each guest shares 2 facts and 1 lie, and everyone else guesses which is the lie. It’s a hilarious way of everyone getting to know each other.
Connecting to the Village
You might like to try the following suggestions at your friend’s Baby Shower:
· Gather the wisdom- have a beautiful journal for each guest to write in. Each person can contribute by sharing their favourite birth or parenting affirmation, by writing a blessing for the mother or to baby, or by completing the following sentence… One thing I wish I knew about parenthood is...
· Bring a beautiful, fragrant candle to light during the event. Make a little speech during the Baby Shower as you light it, letting the Mumma know that she will be in everyone’s thoughts as birth and parenthood approaches. Leave it with the mum and let her know that she can light it and remember that she has people who care for her, that she can reach out to.
· Ask guests to bring a favourite easy nourishing recipe along to collect. Nominate someone to coordinate a meals roster for once baby has arrived. This is THE BEST gift ever!
· Ask everyone to bring a children’s book with an inscription to Baby. It can be new or secondhand. And when Babe arrives, they will already have their own library!
· If your Mumma friend is super organised and has most things, try the wishing well idea so that guests can all contribute to share in a bigger ticket item like a Private Midwife for postnatal in-home expertise while they transition to being new parents or a Postnatal Doula for some home and baby help in those early days- magic!
If your Mumma friend is still feeling uncomfortable about being the centre of attention, or you just want to share the joy, ask people to bring an item for a local women's charity like @the_Village_Co or Treasure Boxes, or donate to Birthing Kit Foundation Australia, for safe birthing overseas.
While it is fun for all the girls to get together, it doesn't have to be women only. Include partners at your event or challenge the fellas to get around the dad-to-be to support him in a meaningful way- it's huge for them too.
So... 'To Shower, or not to Shower?' Definitely Shower! In whichever way you choose, whether intimate or 'go big', take the opportunity to acknowledge this mumma and this babe, shower them with your love and support and celebrate.
What have you done for your expectant friends? I'd love to hear...